Not paying attention, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets his arm cut off. In a mad scramble, Bill wraps Frank’s arm in plastic, and rushes his dismembered friend to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and to his amazement finds him back in tact, playing ping pong in the physical therapy area. A few days later the men are back in the woods, cutting down trees. This time, Frank loses his leg after again getting too close to the saw. Just like the last time, Bill wraps his friend’s leg in plastic and rushes him back to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and this time to his amazement finds Frank in the physical therapy area, all in one piece, running on the treadmill. A few days later, the pair are back in the woods, sawing down trees. This time, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets decapitated. Bill, now an old pro at this, wraps his friend’s head in plastic and rushes him to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank at the hospital the next day, only to find out that his friend didn’t make it. Distraught, he asked the doctor what happened. “Well,” the doctor said, “your friend would have made a full recovery, if some idiot hadn’t wrapped his head in a plastic bag.”
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Before they start, the girl says, "Jacques, give me a kiss!" So he grabs the bottle of Merlot, pours some into her mouth, and exclaims, "When the French take red meat, we take it with red wine!" before giving her a long, deep kiss. They continue kissing, and get more and more passionate. After a while, the girl breaks away and says, "Jacques! Kiss me... lower." And so he kisses her down her neck and towards her bosom. As he reaches her breasts, he grabs the bottle of Chardonnay, pours it onto her breasts and exclaims, "When the French take white meat, we take it with white wine!" before licking and sucking on her breasts eagerly. After a while, the girl can no longer take it, and whispers into his ear, "Jacques, I want you to go... lower." And so he gradually lowers himself and pulls down her panties. As he nears her pussy, he grabs the bottle of whiskey, pours it over her pussy, and then grabs his lighter and sets her bush on fire, before exclaiming, "When the French go down, we go down in flames!".
It was made in China
On the dot.
Because two Wongs don’t make a white
Eventually they will both get laid by a Mexican.
Put it into airplane mode
Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died
Because they shoot the ones who go to school
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he touched my breast." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
She was also on the dashboard, and the steering wheel, and the gear shift, and the windshield....
Because in 10 million years they'll be niggers. -------------- Edit: [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Black/60064)
‘’Drop it nigga’’
It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway.
I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car
Obviously a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without offering suggestions.
Really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Ash.
The perfect rape victim!
You might get shot by the police.
...we go with Human Lives Matter? That way, it excludes the niggers.
The gorilla has a dad
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
You can’t take pills on an empty stomach
It's not, jokes have meaning.
The drone
Listen for maracas
A Jew with a coupon.
It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife.
Let God Burn Them Quickly
Santa Claus goes down your chimney
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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