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avatar SentientFoodTruck 11 day.agoTwo lumberjacks, Bill and Frank, are out in the forest cutting down trees.

Not paying attention, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets his arm cut off. In a mad scramble, Bill wraps Frank’s arm in plastic, and rushes his dismembered friend to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and to his amazement finds him back in tact, playing ping pong in the physical therapy area. A few days later the men are back in the woods, cutting down trees. This time, Frank loses his leg after again getting too close to the saw. Just like the last time, Bill wraps his friend’s leg in plastic and rushes him back to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and this time to his amazement finds Frank in the physical therapy area, all in one piece, running on the treadmill. A few days later, the pair are back in the woods, sawing down trees. This time, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets decapitated. Bill, now an old pro at this, wraps his friend’s head in plastic and rushes him to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank at the hospital the next day, only to find out that his friend didn’t make it. Distraught, he asked the doctor what happened. “Well,” the doctor said, “your friend would have made a full recovery, if some idiot hadn’t wrapped his head in a plastic bag.”

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. A Frenchman takes his American girlfriend on a picnic

Before they start, the girl says, "Jacques, give me a kiss!" So he grabs the bottle of Merlot, pours some into her mouth, and exclaims, "When the French take red meat, we take it with red wine!" before giving her a long, deep kiss. They continue kissing, and get more and more passionate. After a while, the girl breaks away and says, "Jacques! Kiss me... lower." And so he kisses her down her neck and towards her bosom. As he reaches her breasts, he grabs the bottle of Chardonnay, pours it onto her breasts and exclaims, "When the French take white meat, we take it with white wine!" before licking and sucking on her breasts eagerly. After a while, the girl can no longer take it, and whispers into his ear, "Jacques, I want you to go... lower." And so he gradually lowers himself and pulls down her panties. As he nears her pussy, he grabs the bottle of whiskey, pours it over her pussy, and then grabs his lighter and sets her bush on fire, before exclaiming, "When the French go down, we go down in flames!".

2. The Coronavirus won't last long

It was made in China

3. Abdul the Indian wife beater punches his wife every night at 7pm...

On the dot.

4. Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?

Because two Wongs don’t make a white

5. What does a brick and a 300LB white lady have in common?

Eventually they will both get laid by a Mexican.

6. How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode

7. Racecar backwards is racecar

Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died

8. Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones who go to school

9. Forgive Me Father

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he touched my breast." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

10. Did you know that Princess Diana was on the phone when she died?

She was also on the dashboard, and the steering wheel, and the gear shift, and the windshield....

11. Why do Gorilla's always look like they are frowning?

Because in 10 million years they'll be niggers. -------------- Edit: [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Black/60064)

12. What do you say when you see your television floating at night?

‘’Drop it nigga’’

13. How is anal sex like your first car?

It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway.

14. My favorite sex position is the jfk

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car

15. Is Google a man or a woman?

Obviously a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without offering suggestions.

16. My girlfriend's dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she's 18 and I'm 32.

Really ruined our 10th anniversary.

17. What do you call a Jewish Pokémon trainer?

Ash.

18. What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

The perfect rape victim!

19. What is the only problem with the new netherite armor?

You might get shot by the police.

20. How about instead of Black or All Lives Matter...

...we go with Human Lives Matter? That way, it excludes the niggers.

21. What’s the difference between a gorilla and a black guy

The gorilla has a dad

22. What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

23. Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

You can’t take pills on an empty stomach

24. Stop saying that your life is a joke.

It's not, jokes have meaning.

25. What is the national bird of iraq?

The drone

26. How can you tell if a Mexican is having a seizure?

Listen for maracas

27. What's the fastest land animal in the world?

A Jew with a coupon.

28. Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter...

It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife.

29. What does LGBTQ stand for?

Let God Burn Them Quickly

30. What's the difference between santa Claus and a Jew?

Santa Claus goes down your chimney

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